Today Mistress Loola finally let me begin my trial as her pet. The beginning of the experience was odd as i did not notice at first that the names of everyone around had vanished. i just found myself wondering how someone had called themselves 'a human being'. It was only when Mistress listed the things i would be losing i finally realised she had already begain to remove my human abilities...
i felt confused at first. trying to figure out who was speaking but also began feeling happy and special that Mistress is the only person who can hear me speak. The bond that gives us is very important and means a lot to me.
When Mistress had departed for the night i had a little wander around the sim to experience a little of my new way of life.
It is almost like being surrounded by aliens. i have no idea who is who and what is happening. I have to look around to try and fathom what is going on.
I met one lady in black who patted me on the head and spoke to me. it was fun not being able to tell her with words, but using my emotes to explain my feelings etc. i think i will like this new way of life. i like being looked down on.
Sunday 6th December
Today Mistress was in the sim where she left me when i logged in. On joining her and taking my place at her side i watched as she used her feet to play with another toy next to me.
The odd thing, is not knowing who the other toy is. I did not recognise their look, so either i didnt know them, or they changed outfits. either way they were just a 'toy' to me as that is all Mistress called them. So that is all i know this person as.
Although it slighty infuriated me that this toy could not beg to lick Mistress' other foot as she should when she can speak clearly. i could have done better with just emotes and it is odd now, seeing a sub underperform. Mistress is all i focus on as local chat loses me in nameless spam so i think i will be becoming ever more aware of Mistress' desires and the actions of those who are dealing with her.
I felt a sense of pride when Mistress' finally gagged the offender told me to warm her feet with my body. My rightful place for all to see.
The rest of the night was blighted by disconnections but Mistress was very understanding and considerate.
Monday 7th December
Began using Emerald viewer today instead of RLV and so far it seems to be solving connection issues from the night before. I feel relieved to have rlv functions enabled again. I felt guilty and as if i was misbehaving to use the normal viewer, even though it was not my fault. I always wish to be under Mistress' control and hope it will not be a problem again.
Saw my best friend Erica when i logged in and with rlv running again i have to rely on my memory of how she looks to be sure it is her speaking. Her name is gone. But, i would recognise her anywhere and i sniffed her well, making sure to remember her scent for the future. She may change clothes and i must know how to recognise her. She stroked my hair and patted me. i rolled over to let her scratch my belly. We may not be able to speak properly anymore but i am still able to express my moods and desires and it is a new way for us to bond. I am just an animal even to her. She has to look down to me and try her best to understand my thoughts. But, i think she enjoys it secretly.
Later in the day Ilonka appeared in the rubber room. She patted me hello and i curled up next to her, happy to be near someone else close to my Mistress. Almost able to smell Mistress' presence. It was comforting to have a connection appear.
Several times in the day people have tried to IM me, old friends or people arriving in the club maybe wanting to ask something. It is exciting every time they are blocked knowing i have that option blocked and that only Mistress has that privelige. I feel all the more special for it.
Ilonka and the girl in pink i sniffed yesterday both appeared at different points in the day. It is exciting when familiar faces appear now. Everyone is so nameless and plain. All the people seem the same at first. It is hard to pick anything out, so when Mistress or one of her subs appear it is like a ray of sunshine and i feel rewarded and excited to see them. I feel ready to do anything to hold their attention as the humans don't understand me.
Later in the day when i managed to see Mistress Loola again. I let her read what i have written in this diary so far. To my great relief and pride she was pleased with my work. So much so, she even allowed her sub Para to read some of it too. I was a little taken aback but very proud that Mistress liked my words. I felt overcome with excitement. Especially since Mistress then asked if i would consider keeping a blog of my exploits for others to see how a true sub pet lives and to express my feelings and experiences for all to see.
Mistress Loola is truly wonderful to allow me such an opportunity and i am thrilled at the prospect. I cannot wait to see what tomorrow holds for me now.
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