Saturday 12th December

Tonight Mistress took me to De lust as she was dj there for the night. I have never been before, but it is an interesting place with lots of pretty people. Since Mistress Loola was busy at the decks, she gace me permission to roam around the club and investigate a bit.
As always it is a little confusing to make any sense of what is going on. All the people are obviously chatting with each other, but tp figure out who is talking to who and about what can be very difficult. It can take so long to figure out what is going on that very often it is easier not to worry about it. It is not place to worry or think of such things. I am just a pet after all.
I have realised that if it is far easier just to keep my ears open for my name being called or words of affection for this pet as if it is relevant to me, people will say so. If not, then i am just ignored. I am just crawling around on the floor after all. I am not that important.
So i tend to crawl around just looking at people and admiring those that i find pretty or appelaing in some way, and occasionally displaying my affection or interest in someone's look or words by running up to sniff them, or nuzzling their leg.
Sometimes it gets ignored of course or just a brief pat, but sometimes you find a kind person who is touched enough by your actions to talk to you a bit more and pet you further.
It was while wandering around like this i met a lovely lady in the club. I was prowling the balcony, investigating one couple and a very sexy lady in tight trousers and little else, patted me and stroked my hair playfully as she chatted or watched other people.
I made sure to keep my eyes on my Mistress at all times of course. Despite being given permission to roam she will always be my first priority and although she was vey busy, i always keep one eye or ear on her incase she needs me for any reason.
The unknown lady seemed impressed with my devotion to my Mistress and also my friendly approach to her. She complimented me and continued to pet me and stroke my mask as i sat happily next to her. Thankful for the attention of someone so unkown and yet so kind as to give me a moment of her time.
It is small moments of kindness that mean so much more when as subdued as i am. I love being so restricted. My Mistress means the world to me and i hope, she approved my behaviour at the club. I always think if acting in her interest and i think she would be proud. People seemed pleased with me and that is all i can ask for.

Tails & Tasks

I am yet to earn my tail. As i am still effectively on trial as Mistress' pet, i have my pet AO and all the relevant restrictions, but my tail will be the thing that completes me once Mistress Loola deems i have deserve it.
With my tail may come new and exciting prospects or restrictions. Mistress Loola says that my cuffs cannot hold some of the scripts that she wishes to use on me and that she is making a tail specially for when the time is right. I hope so much that i will prove my worth to Mistress Loola in time. A pet without a tail is not a proper pet and as such i feel a little incomplete. Despite all my efforts i am missing the key ingredient. Only Mistress Loola knows when or how long it will be before i am ready or deserving of such a reward so in the meantime i must wait patiently and hope i can do myself and my Mistress justice with my efforts.

The previous night ended in fine style. Mistress Loola was looking particularly beautiful in what i consider one of her best outfits. A red and black speckled catsuit which always causes my eyes to wander a little *winks* She petted me with such love that i felt overwhelmed and even asked me to run across the room to greet Sir Gary. I would like to think that was she was showing me off, but of course i have no idea what was being said if anything at all. I merely had a task to run and greet which i did with utter delight as i am always happy when my Mistress speaks to me directly and gives me direct ways in which to please or abide by her. For those brief moments i have an extra purpose in which i can do my utmost to impress and i love to do so. To earn a comment of 'good girl' or 'good pet' from my Mistress means the world to me. It makes me literally tingle all over and i feel so good. It makes me yearn to please her again and again as soon as possible just to hear another word uttered from her beautiful lips whispered into my mask. It is hard to explain, but it is what makes everything worth while.  Everything i do is just to earn those few seconds where Mistress may honour me with a moment of delight where i am deemed to have pleased her enough to earn some form of reward.

Every day as Mistress Loola's pet makes me lover her even more as i realise how lucky i really i am that she grants me her attention and control. Truly, lucky and tonight was no exception. On returning from greeting Sir Gary for her, she held my head up and breathed into the intake valve of my gas mask after calling me a good pet. It was the first time Mistress has done this to me and i hope more than anything it is not the last. It felt so intimate and special. I am secure inside my rubber and yet to know Mistress allowed me to breath the same as air as her and that i can smell her so close. It had me trembling all over. I felt like holding my breath in effort to keep the air longer and not let go of it incase i lose it forever. It shows what a sad little pet i may be, but also maybe how much my Mistress really means to me. It feels sometimes little moments such as this are more sacred than any sex act because when you are as restricted and subserviant as i am, it is quite simply a feeling of ecstacy.

Melina

Today i created my blog and started work on updating it as necessary. It is most exciting knowing that my Mistress wishes me to do this for her. I feel truly honoured. I hope over time, it will become better and better. I hope as i go along to add some pictures too and help give people a visual aid to life in my world.
This afternoon i wandered round the rubber room, sniffing the people and listening in on their conversations. Since i do not know how to tp or use landmarks i am left to wait at which ever location Mistress Loola leaves me at until she arrives and as i cannot see the names of people, i have no idea of who they are until someone speaks to them by name.
Melina, one of the rubber room dancers is often around and has taken a liking to me it seems. More than once over the last few days she has petted me and made feel appreciated for my behaviour.
I was nuzzling the legs of a lady i discovered was called Aleitha and purring happily as she commented on what a good pet i was, that Melina felt the need to come over to play with me too.
She is very kind to me, even kneeling down to my level in order to be able to stroke me better and look me in the eyes. It fills me with delight when strangers take a liking to me and seem to respect my role in life. Understanding what i am there for. Many people ignore me, which is all part of being a pet. I am not there like a person. I can be easily ignored and i have no complaints over it at all. I am just an animal. But, it means when some people do take the time to reach down and pet me i love it even more so. I see who in this world is kind and affectionate and who likes to play with creatures like myself.
So when someone like Melina plays with me it is a very special and exciting time. I sit up on my hind legs hoping for more fuss and nuzzle and sniff her with a thankful purr. I tingled with pleasure today as she played with my hair and petted me happily. Her best trick is when she leans in to breath on the lenses of my gasmask to steam them up and then writes her initials on them with her finger. It has me wriggling in pleasure and purring louder than ever, and as i roll to allow her to tickle my tummy she kissed the lense of my mask. Her lips pushing the mask into my skin and filling my view with such a beautiful sight.
I hope that behaving and pleasing residents of the area that treat me with respect will always be appreciated by Mistress. When she is not around it is her name i represent and her name above my head. This fills me with a sense of unequaled pride and i hope by impressing others and behaving well, they will in turn think well of my Mistress and be jealous that she has such a lovely pet. It is just a dream, but hopefully one i can work on.

Later in the day i did get to spend some time with my Mistress. i felt so happy as she appeared in the room and i bounded up to greet her and be with her immediately. She is the reason i have such a good life.
After a little fuss and some kind words. I took my place at Mistress Loola's feet as she sat and chatted with other people and socialised. Occasionally some people would pat me or show affection, but i had the feeling much of it was done with Mistress Loola's permission. I cannot explain it exactly, but i felt like she was watching over me. I feel safe and relaxed when lying at her boots. I know where i am in the world and i am with the one person who can understand me. It is something that makes me so proud and i love of every second of my time with her. Even if nothing is said and i just sit next to her. I am where i should be and there if she needs me. That is all that matters.

The Beginning

Saturday 5th December

Today Mistress Loola finally let me begin my trial as her pet. The beginning of the experience was odd as i did not notice at first that the names of everyone around had vanished. i just found myself wondering how someone had called themselves 'a human being'. It was only when Mistress listed the things i would be losing i finally realised she had already begain to remove my human abilities...
i felt confused at first. trying to figure out who was speaking but also began feeling happy and special that Mistress is the only person who can hear me speak. The bond that gives us is very important and means a lot to me.
When Mistress had departed for the night i had a little wander around the sim to experience a little of my new way of life.
It is almost like being surrounded by aliens. i have no idea who is who and what is happening. I have to look around to try and fathom what is going on.
I met one lady in black who patted me on the head and spoke to me. it was fun not being able to tell her with words, but using my emotes to explain my feelings etc. i think i will like this new way of life. i like being looked down on.

Sunday 6th December

Today Mistress was in the sim where she left me when i logged in. On joining her and taking my place at her side i watched as she used her feet to play with another toy next to me.

The odd thing, is not knowing who the other toy is. I did not recognise their look, so either i didnt know them, or they changed outfits. either way they were just a 'toy' to me as that is all Mistress called them. So that is all i know this person as.

Although it slighty infuriated me that this toy could not beg to lick Mistress' other foot as she should when she can speak clearly. i could have done better with just emotes and it is odd now, seeing a sub underperform. Mistress is all i focus on as local chat loses me in nameless spam so i think i will be becoming ever more aware of Mistress' desires and the actions of those who are dealing with her.

I felt a sense of pride when Mistress' finally gagged the offender told me to warm her feet with my body. My rightful place for all to see.

The rest of the night was blighted by disconnections but Mistress was very understanding and considerate.

Monday 7th December

Began using Emerald viewer today instead of RLV and so far it seems to be solving connection issues from the night before. I feel relieved to have rlv functions enabled again. I felt guilty and as if i was misbehaving to use the normal viewer, even though it was not my fault. I always wish to be under Mistress' control and hope it will not be a problem again.

Saw my best friend Erica when i logged in and with rlv running again i have to rely on my memory of how she looks to be sure it is her speaking. Her name is gone. But, i would recognise her anywhere and i sniffed her well, making sure to remember her scent for the future. She may change clothes and i must know how to recognise her. She stroked my hair and patted me. i rolled over to let her scratch my belly. We may not be able to speak properly anymore but i am still able to express my moods and desires and it is a new way for us to bond. I am just an animal even to her. She has to look down to me and try her best to understand my thoughts. But, i think she enjoys it secretly.

Later in the day Ilonka appeared in the rubber room. She patted me hello and i curled up next to her, happy to be near someone else close to my Mistress. Almost able to smell Mistress' presence. It was comforting to have a connection appear.

Several times in the day people have tried to IM me, old friends or people arriving in the club maybe wanting to ask something. It is exciting every time they are blocked knowing i have that option blocked and that only Mistress has that privelige. I feel all the more special for it.

Ilonka and the girl in pink i sniffed yesterday both appeared at different points in the day. It is exciting when familiar faces appear now. Everyone is so nameless and plain. All the people seem the same at first. It is hard to pick anything out, so when Mistress or one of her subs appear it is like a ray of sunshine and i feel rewarded and excited to see them. I feel ready to do anything to hold their attention as the humans don't understand me.

Later in the day when i managed to see Mistress Loola again. I let her read what i have written in this diary so far. To my great relief and pride she was pleased with my work. So much so, she even allowed her sub Para to read some of it too. I was a little taken aback but very proud that Mistress liked my words. I felt overcome with excitement. Especially since Mistress then asked if i would consider keeping a blog of my exploits for others to see how a true sub pet lives and to express my feelings and experiences for all to see.

Mistress Loola is truly wonderful to allow me such an opportunity and i am thrilled at the prospect. I cannot wait to see what tomorrow holds for me now.